Many people find it very hard to forgive. As we go through life, it’s inevitable that we’ll come across people who do us wrong one way or another. There are plenty of people out there who aren’t treating us exactly the way we’d like. We can’t change how people are, but the good news is that we have a lot of control over how we react to them.
According to Ethan Bolinger, “Holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
First of all, it’s generally in your best interest to forgive people. Choosing to hold a grudge forever keeps you from ever healing and moving on. Some people will carry a grudge to the extent that they forget what the other person actually did, but they will stay focused on being mad at them.
Another way to look at it is to ask yourself theses questions: Do I really need to be mad forever? Is it really worth the stress and the high blood pressure, or can I just let it go? Just because you might have a reason to be be mad, doesn’t mean it is your best option.
There is one more thing that can help you forgive; try to see the situation from another perspective. It is helpful to understand where people you are angry at are coming from. So if your significant other yelled at you or acted out of line, try to see where they came from, maybe they had a terrible day!
In many cases, the person who wronged you might have acted completely out of character for some reason, and they might truly be sorry. It is also possible that they do not even know they did anything wrong! Try not to make assumptions, and just talk to them instead.
Now, is there anyone you need to forgive today?